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Deduk
 Post subject: Essay
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 5:32 pm 
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here's a short poem i wrote in about 3 minutes. critisisms and compliments welcome.
–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-
Essay
I have to write this essay and I don’t have time to waste
There aren’t any redoes so I really have to haste
This has to be my own work so I can’t just cut and paste
I have to do my very best but I don’t have any taste
I must finish in one minute at the very most
If I can’t do this I’m gonna be burnt toast
But I think I may have finished it and still have time to boast

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Someday we'll look back at this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Very funny scotty, now beam down my clothes.
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cat1205123
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 9:19 pm 
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Heh, not too bad. The rhythem (sp?) seems kind of off though....but maybe that's just because I'm a percussionist.

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.:Requiem:.
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 3:39 am 
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Don't think it;s just you, Cat, rhythm seems off to me. I quite like the subject matter, I -nearly- laughed out loud in the first few lines. The rpeating rhyme was used very well at first, and you managed to fit it all into contet and not cound forced. But then your rhyme changed and, IMO, it went to smurf after that.

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Mas mothaionn tu fein mar rud eigin caite ar an dtra...
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Lig dom goideail an croi duit...
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