Lamee Jokes

[thesockoverlord]

heehee. Here's two jokes I found particularly entertaining last night(at 2AM) despite their obvious lameness.

What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtles back?
-What?
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

*bu dum, chhh*

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interupting Cow
Interupting C--
MOOOOO!!!

*insane laughter*

Haha, post your lame jokes. Right. Now.

[shapu]

You should read this whole thread:
viewtopic.php?f=22&t=31417

[TDG]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Just a cool breeze

Knock Knock
Who's there?
WOULD YOU LET ME IN ALREADY? IT'S FREAKING COLD OUT HERE!!

[Helena]

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rope "Hey! we don't serve ropes in here" so one of the ropes left. The other rope frayed up his hair and tied himself in a knot. The bartender said to the rope "Are you a rope?" and the rope said " I'm afraid not."

A frog is looking for a loan, so he goes into a bank. He sits down at a desk and the name plate says "Patty Whac". He talks to Patty about the loan and she asks him what he has for collateral. The frog replies well I have this vase. He pulls the vase out of a bag to show her. Patty says "well thats just a cheap knick-knack". Then the owner notices the vase and says to himself "gee that's from the 17th century, it's worth tons of money" So he walks over to patty and says "Thats no knick-knack Patty Whac give the frog a loan".

A skeleton is in a pub. He goes up to the bartender. "A pint of lager and a mop please."

There's a man, let's call him Jimmy. Well, Jimmy was getting really fed up with his wife, Alice. So he goes and hires a hitman called Arty Jimmy pays Artie £1 to choke his wife. "She'll be going into Tesco at 2 PM on the dot. She'll be wearing her big red hat with white feathers."
So the next day, Arty waited outside Tesco. At 2 PM exactly he saw a woman wearing a big red hat with white feathers. Before anyone knew what had happened, he strangled the woman. But then, he saw another woman wearing the same hat! He had no idea how to be sure. He quickly decided to choke her as well. Just then, a passerby had reported him and the police came around the corner to arrest him.
The next day, the newspaper headlines read:

"ARTY CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO"!

I'm going to stop, now.

['Rina]

Helena I love all of those

[Helena]

Helena I love all of those

Yay! I my nonsensical, insane friend who made up half of them.
My year three teacher told me the artichoke one. -_-

[thesockoverlord]

There's a man, let's call him Jimmy. Well, Jimmy was getting really fed up with his wife, Alice. So he goes and hires a hitman called Arty Jimmy pays Artie £1 to choke his wife. "She'll be going into Tesco at 2 PM on the dot. She'll be wearing her big red hat with white feathers."
So the next day, Arty waited outside Tesco. At 2 PM exactly he saw a woman wearing a big red hat with white feathers. Before anyone knew what had happened, he strangled the woman. But then, he saw another woman wearing the same hat! He had no idea how to be sure. He quickly decided to choke her as well. Just then, a passerby had reported him and the police came around the corner to arrest him.
The next day, the newspaper headlines read:

Grr...I've been wondering for a while, now, what IS/ARE/whatever Tesco? *headdesk* *too lazy to just google it*
Haha, those were insane, Helena, I love them as well =D
roflolmao

[Helena]

Grr...I've been wondering for a while, now, what IS/ARE/whatever Tesco? *headdesk* *too lazy to just google it*
Haha, those were insane, Helena, I love them as well =D
roflolmao

Tesco are a chain supermarket/superstore whatever.

[dragon]

*insane giggles* I love the artichoke one! Nice one Helena!

[Helena]

*insane giggles* I love the artichoke one! Nice one Helena!

*bows* I put it in as a lame joke because it's the kind of one that makes you groan/kick yourself, hard/poke whoever told you it insanely. Well, it made me do that, at least.

[Jenna!]

Q:Where does the General keep his Armies?

A: Up his Sleevies!!

Q: Why did the man become a doctor?

A: His wife said he needed more patience.

And my favourite...

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

A: Roberto!

[Byakuya San]

Q:Where does the General keep his Armies?

A: Up his Sleevies!!

Haha Impossible Quiz 2 flashback!
There are some REALLY good ones from that.

[Siniri]

Two hotdogs are in a pan on the stove.
One screams, "Aaggh! I'm burning! I'm burning!"

The other screams, "Aaggh! It's a talking hotdog!"

[thetrueoogabooga]

I heard the same joke but with muffins.

[ginny-ROX]

Teacher(to class):if i had 40 apples in one hand and had fifty apples in my other hand what would i have?
Student:Big hands miss

whats the difference between a fisherman and a school boy

one hates his books and the other baits his hooks

Teacher(to class):name four animals from the cat family
Student: Mummy cat, Daddy cat and two baby cats